Some Chem Jokes you may have heard

I am going to tell you a bad chemistry joke because all the good ones ar  gon.

Two atoms bump into each other. One says "I think I lost an electron!" The other asks, "Are you sure?", to which the first replies, "I'm positive."

What do you do with a dead chemist?    Barium

A Proton, Neutron, and Electron go to a restaurant.  The neutron offers to pay for the meal and asks the waiter for the bill.  The waiter replies to the neutron no charge for you.